its serious time here at the worlds most important blog.
Im so "about business" that I will share with you, the gentle reader, the last cover letter I will ever need to write. I'm sure to find a job offer in my email box withing minutes, and my whole life will change.
There's an entertainment company that needs my services. I'm pretty sure from the vague way they described themselves that it is some sort of scam. especially the part about me having my own office. maybe its porn related, who knows? If it is the scammy kind of shit show i imagine it to be then I think ill take the job for purely comic reasons.

see now, THERES A REASON TO WORK, for the comedy of it.

im not motivated much by money, but humor is a motivator fo sho... so heres how my new relationship with work will start
i answered the criagslist ad with this sure fire winner of a cover letter. im probably going to be put in charge of this place rather quickly....

Hey-
I can sell anything. Your ad was just vague enough to spark my imagination. If you decide to hire me you are gettin an idea man. You are gettng an aging rock star, you are getting what used to be the main attraction who is now aging very well and still remarkably spry for someone that played rugby for over 20 years.
I was also a school teacher in the inner city and i was a bad ass at that job. Concurrent with the rugby, but prior to teaching I was a hot shot TGIF bartender who always had the whole bar cracking up because when the spotlight finds me I offer fine comedic value playing to the exact and specific funny bones of whomever my audience might be that evening.
I have been around the block long enough to be able to make a conection with just about any random stranger off the street which should prove a great asset for the many closings I will be doing in my very own office. Be warned that I will probably have sensational ideas about future events and maybe even enough talent to propose new and diferent ventures which your entertainment company can additionally profit from.
Enough about me. Why do I want to work for you? Who are you and what do you do? Try and get me excited about working for you and if you are successful your only problem after hiring me will be how to spend the enormus piles of revenue a true performance minded barabarian like myself can generate.
Thanks and have a nice day, I always do!

Resume and references upon request.