Sunday, May 29, 2011

listening to some ludwig van and the melody is the same as a video game
his 2nd symphony in d major
and the game eludes me
gotta scour the web
those notes react with my dna
they reprogram my mind
recalibrating beauty awarness circutry
life seems less loathesome somehow...

me without a job is a happy me
so to stay happy watch how i cut my expenses
gonna live on my nut this time
new booze mantra

whats the relationship of booze and me?
if the booze ain't free, den none for me!

i will never buy a drink again
unless its out of my poetry fund
to celebrate achievements i may buy a drink or too
but they must truly be mighty achievements

THIS DOES NOT QUALIFY
i didnt drink before noon today!
ill drink to that, 3p.m.

try to go a week
resist the lure of sweet, sweet alcoholic oblivion
if i can go a week then ill plan when to celebrate that feat.

write a budget
stick to it
profit cosmically

ima just do me for a little while

i will come out of the wild once a week
the pikeville sasquatch has been reported to have been seen today in south philadelphia
this shaggy beast is known as the most insteresting caveman the world
if you see him buy him a beer
and tell him to get a haircut
this is the ad campaign i will do
just get me a camera and an agent
ill do the rest

im the missing link
im the next step of evolution

women flock to me
to try to get down on this obviously top notch proto-human missing link hybrid space alien dna having, rugby playing asshole writing mofo and gilf loving bro that youve ever seen
a spaceman fucked my mom at a concert
but they lost track of me......

my mom aborted me partially which took out the tracking device
when the hanger skinned my brain
as my dad frantically screamed not again you butchrr not again
before tackling my mom and knocking the hanger out of her hand as she stands in the bathoom foot up on the rim standing over a mirror and doing the home abortion kit

but i digress.....

women sense this champion jism and i have to stay on the run
sometimes im spotted in pikeville
sometimes in the woods somewhere
crossing the candian border at will
blending in the jungle like the predator

so i may show up in your town
bring your funloving grandmothers
im the host of the gameshow
AMERICAS HOTTEST GILF
hosted by that intergalactic fugitive saquatch version of
dr, richard kimball
welcome ot another worlds hottest GILG
i am your horny host and granny loving asshole
sasquatch bakeowski
my freinds call me sass
you can call me mr bakeowski

yeah i just give this shit away for free
hire me to write the rest of this shit
copius quantities of words congregate and collaborate to improve the word environment in your area
i will de- lullaby your lesson plans
i will defunkify your attractive grandmothers
im a helpful guy

Friday, May 27, 2011

The next exciting issue of Bloated Aging Asskicker is in the final stages of preproduction.
This Mission Statement officially commences the assembly of elders.
The Neanderthal Aging Asshole Communist Party.
We're Neanderthals, we are old, we share our talents with you.
This is the online edition.
This month in BAA history we have "don fucking juan" turning 4o and celebrating said event with a musical happening at the Barbary I think? I'll try to remember to look it up on the facebook device. Aging asskickers are suprisingly connected, though few twitter as of this writing. june 21st. two hardcore acts. photo shoot for aging asskicker magazine issue two, photos from this party, stories of the best after party, best after after party and you get the idea.http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=176491662404428&set=a.102856869767908.6102.100001307864024&type=1&theater