i may be going crazy for sure
i noticed kid gloves today
someone talking slowly to me as if i was a retard
or an axe wielding psycho
ive been on the other end of that convo
whatever
im just about done with "humanity" anyway
theres nothing else for me to learn from you fucks
you greed holes
war mongers
ass fuckers
the ass is for poo-ing
not for penises
what is wrong with our society?
oil sucking fuckwads
sky painting cloud making
you better be right mayans
cause this shit is beat
the partys over
turn up the lights
im enjoying the crazy
so fuck everyone

SUNDAY

i made a baby cry with my tribute to whitney houston
i was in the moment
i was entertaining the crowd, i had even sung a police tune,
modified for the baby just a few minutes earlier,
 "the goo goo goo, the gaaa gaa gaa thats all i want to sing to you"
but riffling thru nickis song book whitney's song jumped out at me
and then i realized theres more than 6 words in the song
i really like shouting ANNNNNNNNNNNNND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIi
into the mike
i think thats when the baby left
i belted out those 2 words
nicky was nice enough to sing all the other words
i know the parts i like
and its not always the show stopping parts  ot the songs
its the parts that catch my ear
little word pockets that resonate in my brain
thats the ones i want to sing
so ill work on the medley of my favorite parts of songs
thematically structured
songs i sing in the sun on the railroad
songs i sing in the morning
songs that make work suck less
sexy songs
this will keep me busy at work anyway..

i hope the island is still there more than a metaphor
my mom says its not listed anymore
but it lives on in my head

its all about impulse control for me these days
life is a collection of impulses
synapses firing,
 neurons recieving these bursts of energy and sending them along the way
axons dendrites
alotta shit i know very little about except for the fact thats ITS ELECTRIC
pulses of electricity coursing thru this sack of water
this sack of water that is experiencing this particular slice of the cosmic joke

life equals impulses
control the impulses to control your life
set your destiny
set your sails

in past times when i have a pocket full of loot and a shitty job im moving on
as billy joel sings "if thats moving up then im moooving on"
and "you cant drive a car with a broken back, at least you can polish the fender"

the dalai lama says find joy in every moment
so i sought out to find joy at work
today as i unlocked the door to the breakroom i whistled at the grackle
he lives in a hole in the wall in a space created by our construction team behind some plywood
he popped his head out to see who was talkin grackle this morning
he flew to the wire and looked all around
i whistled again, his head pivoted thusly and so
his partner joined him on the wire and it looked like they excahnged grackle plesantries, beak to beak with little chirps, fluttering next to each other on the wire
i hit him with the secondary grackle greeting
the quick building high note that dies out longer and lower
the grackle started doing his strut thing and started chiping and crackling wings fluffing out proudly almost like one of those breakdance moves where the arms are thrust back and low and the body is thrust forward
i can only do the greetings
im learning the crackles and short chirps but cant do both yet
but damn if that grackle dindt put me in a great mood from then on finding joy at work was easy

Harry Crews is dead
he says 3 hours a day and at the end of the year you have 2 books
Flannery o'connor says to just sit there and wait for it
who knows where it comes from
if im wasting my life working i may as well waste three hours a day writing
if this means i cant squeeze in legendary bouts of drinking then so be it
im not going to be a boring old fuck with a job and a beer gut
not gonna happen