३० rock

they seem to have a whole lot of producers on this show. a few with very interesting foreign names. if i understand it correctly the executive producer is a cat with some cash who pays for things, theres a couple of them here. some of the rest of the producers are people who are padding their resume with production credits like alec baldwin is doing. the rest? who knows? i did notice an agenda tho. it seems to me that NBC is trying to make sure Hindus are well represented in their sit coms this year. I may have missed a story line or two, but jacks secretary is on and now the guys in the microwave lab. the hilarious hindus in the microwave lab that are too smart or busy or racist to talk to jack. and the racism is later laffed off when the delivery boy loks just like jack. subtle contextual message to leroy from podunk, don't get mad at the hindu who is rude to you. they are all incredibly smart and busy and you may llok like their delivery man. and they are funny too. just look at the hilarious goings on in bhopal where they have utsourced the novelty gag gift business. oh the hilarity jerome. your future wasnt in fake vomit anyway. tell leroy to put the shotgun down. these hindu fellers are funny fucks. at least one of the producers has a hindi name.....
probably just a coincidence
unless the hindi slavemasters (who at one time produced finely woven persian rugs with child laboer until the children went blind.) unless these titans of hindustry who then turned the blind kids into beggars or telemarketers for fortune 500 companies who save so much money by not paying americans
these titans of hindustry can invest in their own rigged stockmarket, they know, they do the rigging, so they buy a fine company like NBC who is in the bomb making business which will never go out of style as long as there are civilian populations to keep in line...
it only makes sense that owners then demand some representation in programming so that when they come over here to evict the now broke jeromes and leroys of the world the jeromes and leroys of the world have some sort of positive association by humor that these guys are funny fuckers like that tv show and they are ok....
this is why im calling for a new racist term
for capitalists
because capital is the problem
meet the new boss, same as the old boss, greedy and acquisitive.
yeah the type who think "i want more pictures of dead slaveowners in my pocket
that will make me the clear winner."
while, in actuality, it just makes you a bigger asshole
definition:
asshole- noun;anyone with a million dollars in the bank.

grapefruit

she had a tumor the size of a large piece of fruit within her womb
super mommy was soon out of the breeding end of things
she of the haunted house and of mtv
im not sure if she did a haunted house program for them or if she just did it all
she knows how to drop a name
shes very good at what she does
eveyone feels welcome in big mommas house
the world lost a bartending icon when big momma had to retire from the brunch biz
a few things i noticed from my visit to the haunted hospital
she was all stitched up
throbbing pain with every heartbeat
morphine derivatives making her itchy
her crazy namesake had already entreated her not to forget to complain about how weak the painmeds were....
to set the stage for more powerful prescriptions at the hospital checkout intervies....
her neighbors in the room were from asia somewhere
one of those places where it always sounds like someones choking on some phlegm when they are speaking to each other
they had a picnic nextdoor and brought their own dishes and silverware from home and used big mommas trashcan to clear thier plates
on her side of the curtain
four five visitors
each clearing a plate
each smiling at us
the mongolian cousin walking by beatifically
smiling that secret retard smile
the convention next door ended
i guess their plan was to have lunch with their matriarch
her pumps kept beeping
luodly
every 5 seconds or so
the nurse finally came
big momma tells me this kept her up all night
one of the visitors decides to move the heavy wooden chair on her way out for some reason
of course it bumps into big mammas bedjolts the new stitches
she sucks it up, eats her rage, which is why she had those two heart atttacks when working for MTV
the retard stays around for some reason
she doesnt even know where she is
lunch is served
big mamma is starving
eating for the first time in days
the converation next door gets louder
one of those gutteral throat clearing words
except its not speech
the retard apparently cant keep this strange american food down and is soon barfing in the trashcan on big mammas side of the curtain
this takes a minute or two
big mammas problem now is the same as mine with the nausea
i go to the nurse and explain the sitch
she tells the custodian who is right there cleaning 430 right next door but she is clearly unmoved
it doesnt even register
but she must be on the way, right?
me staring at her wont make her hurry
so i return
and big mammas face is getting redder and redder
the hormones that the womb used to regulate are now coursing unregulated throughout whats left of her body
shes talking with her hands now
i go back to the nurses station after calming her down by telling her i went for helpo and th custodian is involved and apologize for being to weak stomached to move the trashcan myself
are you fucking kidding me she says"
i go back to the nurses station
the custodian has skipped over big mammas room and now is on the other side in 428
i repeat my request for assistance to the desk nurse who then gives me a look
i explain that the patient has already had 2 heart attacks and is very uncomfortable by the puking retarded visitor and how many visitors do you get anyway and whdid they bring someone who clearly doesnt know where she is and id have got the can myself but then there would have been even more puke to clean up
the nurse say
"i guess you want me to go in DERE and get DAT?"
i say that would be above and beyond the call of duty
that shes sure to be the nurse of the year
and she theatrically puts on rubber gloves and removes the can at arms length to my effusive applause
thanks alot thankyou so much
the pump started beeping again during the regurgitation
big mammas going thru the roof almost
she hits the call button
explains its not her but the pump next door could you please.......
the pump apparently doesnt work to well when the tube is pinched
we find this out during the next half hour when the thing is going off every five minutes and the wait for a nurse is about three and its maddening
one of the visitors learns how to turn the pump off and me and big mamma complete the same thought

MISSION STATEMENT >> TWENTY ONE ONE EDITION

i do what i have to do to get the job done
trying hard not to have to work for THE MAN again
resolved to be the man instead of working for him
transformation time 2011
happy new year
old me, 20 10 has to hustle for bar owners to make ends meet
new years eve and day i work back to back for large piles of filthy lucre
i put in 24 hours on my feet in a 36 hour period and as a reult my ankles were large grapefruits
being the dynamic physical speciamen that i am

speciMAN,
all man, all the time
being this specimen
i, of course,
played two sets of tennis with young athletes
and my body was saying no no no
now the man i am is im amy winehousemanly whinehouse
i can live with that name
dignified bitching about physical complaints in song form

(to the tune of rehab)

"i tried to play me some tennis
my joints said no no no
i tried to chase a grenn ball
my joints said no no no"

still one of my favorite songs of all time

so i listened to my body and stayed off the ankle after the tennis and they're just about the right size today

THUS RESOLVED I WILL BE KINDER TO THIS AGING STEAMSHIP THAT CARRIES MY BRAIN AROUND
physicality shall be if not every day at least 2/3 days for this year of twenty one one.

I WILL LAUNCH THIS "NEWSIE PROJECT" before the SUPERBOWL, this becoming the man
I will sell a few opies of the thing every day until they are gone baby gone.

I WILL COLLABORATE WITH OTHER TALENTED INDIVIDUALS ON CO_PROJECTS as much as possil
ble

I WILL GET STARTED NOW