organic gambling

the hippy sat at the card table
15,000 up for grabs
outside the sun was shining
a brilliant afternoon
why was i choosing to spend it cooped up in a room full of assholes again?
my tomato plants wanted water, as did the baby hemlocks
the pool would surely be a sparkling oasis
and i was indoors trying to outthink a room full of cro-magnons
clever little math geeks, older business men, addicts, the chosen people
not a problem on a normal day
my skin made a case for vitamin D
my lungs for oxygen straight from the greenery
i wanted to splash in the creek, not out think a geek
and poker comes down to a series of coinflips anyway
after hours of your life
so i streamlined the process
go big or go home
and when it came up tails i was not unhappy with my decision
im more of a winter card player me thinks

bet on a hippy
im going to take every pile of cash i wind up with for the foreseeabe future and try to put it to work for me
in poker tournaments
where i have a decent skill set
and where i am very close to enjoying other peoples company
if it wasnt for poker
i wouldnt tak to to many people
the people i talk to at the local bar are all poker people to me
so i gotta be nice
because they may think they are better at cards than me
and may want to give me their money
so i gotta be nice
i gotta be human
i gotta act like a drunken fool from time to time to sell the reckless gambler image
its what i suffer for for my art
the art of poker
ha ha

http://organicgambling.blogspot.com/

so heres the address of a website where i wil be desrcibing recent poker victories

http://organicgambling.blogspot.com/three recent serious money tournaments
chesters last event in their series
thousands on the line
i gambled and got big
then i went after a kid in a wheel chair
i like the gamble
why not get it in when you can?
why not take a shortcut?
but then i got it in my head that i wanted to deal with the kid in the chair
he had an attendant
tiny tyrannasauraus rex like vetigal clawlike hands
open mouth, tiny hippo teeth pointing in interesting new directions
120 buy in, a nice garuntee and an insane structure brought me out of retirement
40 minute levels
i had it on cruise control
avoided the whack jobs for the most part
got real lucky when i turned a set on the river with QQ vs a J hi flop
of course dude flopped a set
some other clown pushed in in
the set of jacks pushed
i had an inside straight draw and what i thought was top pair
i knew i was ahead of obvious move guys push
the second one got me but id put enough in preflop to stay interested and it was time to be done or "get 'em next time"
after the break i was at that typical table full of pros
i was sitting on 4x my origianl stack but there were three decent aggressve pros with 6-7x
all talking nice and playing predictably
big enough stacks to see most flops three ways
nice big c-bets
poker was being played here
tried to set the trap with KK but my prey was warier than bambi after that hunter clipped his ma
i got enough cards to tread water and then decided to push around the patient small stack with a flush draw on the flop and he got stubborn with top pair and the all in guy had AA
my stack was top three at this point and i had them shaking their head
table change
im tilted by 75 pound kids in wheelchairs apparently
he had an attendant who would call out his actions and throw his chips in
i had to be in the top five in stacks at this time and he was clearly number one or two
i wasn't looking forward to spending the next 3 hours with him, staring into his always open mouth
he was playing a really nice LAGGY style
but THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE
so i threw patience out the window and went into chip accumulation mode
he had a wood chipper attatchment on his wheelchait and i threw all my lovely chips into it
i really hope he won
i got it in bad after reraising to 5x with K5 off preflop
he had raised 2x
flops all hearts and i hit the five so i figured its worth a shot
him or me
he had called my raise with j3 of hearts and the last heart was not to come

i played six hours of fairly tight poker with a couple "fun" moves
but i gotta find a mental refuge from people tilt
thats my biggest leak i reckon


oh almost forgot the funniest part of the evening
playoffs were on tv
total douche-nozzle joins our table
he was from syracuse
isn't that wild?
he pushes the old greek pro dude out of the pot on the river
the old greek pro hammered it preflop then slowed down the hammering when an ace flopped, tried to steal it on the turn and douche-nozzle from syracuse calls on the turn in position
greek pro bets the river like half the pot and the nozzle reraises all in
pro looks disgusted, mucks QQ face up
nozzle flips over his 4's and says i wanted to lose that hand so i could watch the game, im from syracuse, in the kind of voice that makes you want to join a mosque or wear one of those red and white checked tablecloths on your head to rebalance the dynamic of the table
another attention whore with a spotlight!
total evil sterotypical neorotic nebbish
begin rant...

{movie review}
exporting raymond
woody allen was funny 50 years ago when he did it
larry david is hopefully almost done with this worked out mine of humor
but jeez, NO ONE CARES THAT YOU WROTE RAYMOND AND THE RUSSIANS AREN"T AS ATTENTIVE TO DETAILS AS YOU ARE!
end movie review

so he winds up at my buddies table
my buddy had money on syracuse
he tells him theres no way syracuse is covering the three points (one miunte left in the game) and says ill bet you any amount on this!
come one bet me
my dide snaps on him and tells him to shut the EFF up and no one cares you are from syracuse and the floor comes by cuz hes standing and screaming at him and telling him not to say another single word to him
he apologizes to the floor and never seen him this heated
he's one of the highest people i have ever met.
always mr mellow, i call him marsh
he just snapped. something about this kid from syracuse.

my apologies for the slightest whiff of religious intolerance as i may have had one or two bad experiences with women who may share the same beliefs as this gentleman from syracuse was strongly indicating in manner and iinflection.

i in no way meant to indicate that this was the reason i thought he was a douche-nozzle.
douche-nozzles are useful
they provide a better playground experience


i think il work on this website every time i put my cash into action
to learn from
to earn from
to break down the mistakes in my play
make genera observations about personality types
try to put the personality type accurately to new opponents
poker player profiling
put my devious brain to work
come up with a system of attributes
try to invent a poker player shorthand
a way to guess correctly more often than not
a way to turn ahttp://organicgambling.blogspot.com/ hobby into a business,,,
headed to PARX on tuesday
was gonna be patient
wasnt gonna get tilted by personal details of my opponents
was gonna let the game come to me
then the deck started hitting me in the face
and i left money on the table because i was so tightened up that i began to see ghosts and fear shadows
example
the guy to my right is a real poker player
i can tell by his manner, his actions, his demeanor
he joined us and i gave him the lowdown on the table so far
two action junkies on the other side
had just done this little thing where they raised each other on the flop and turn and then checked the river to each other
then they didnt want to show each other their hands
the dealer says "just show your hands"
niether does
this is the longest minute ive ever spent at the poker table
both were on missed draws
both betting on the come
no money shot tho
one dude outkicks the other 9 hi beating 7 high
dude laffs at this story
we get into a pot im the sb so i have to raise
he calls from the bb
im playing k 6 sooted, i never learn
flop is ace hi
it goes check check
i smell a rat and say "i thought u were gonna bet it for me so i could check raise you" he laffs
turn is a six
i say the free ride is over
he calls and i say "crap yer kicker is probably better than mine"
river is a third six
i check to him he bets a grand and i just call because im bad at poker and i want him to know just how bad i am
he was nice
i have lost my edge
i stack a clown who is tired of my shennanigans and thinks im pushing him around
my head is bruised from how hard the deck is hitting me
of course the table breaks
my buddy, the highest dude in the world was busted by an asian lady
she checked her flopped trips into him twice the turn gave him 2 pair he ships and she slow rolls him
so i get moved to her table all buzzing about her prowess
and paint a target on her
shes a cash game player
shes playing alot of hands and busts 2 more people as i lay in wait for her one seat to her left
i tighten at the wrong time
i decide to respect her thousand buck cbet when her and the other lady seem to have eyes for one another
my kicker is too small to face 2 ladies i figure
i fold
and we all know that was the hand
i raise with ak in EP
a station with chips calls
a shortie pushes
i push
station gets out of dodge and im up agains a pair of ducks, king in the window, lifes sweet
tight old fossil in dollar store reading glasses gets moves to my table
i remember him from my previous table
didnt play too many hands
im feeling froggy and he raises my bb i look at ace nine sooted and decide to see a flop
flop is an ace and 2 hearts
i check the fossil bets a quarter of the pot
im thinking that the nine is surely coming on the turn and call
it doesnt
then i get the newsflash that he has qq or kk and hes making a move on me
its not the obvious value bet that is so often referred to in the literature about optimally playing this game
this old fellow is making a move on me
so i check again and as he puts in his next 1/'3 of the pot raise i see his hands shaking
alzheimers?
i call
and being a genius when the river comes up a third heart i confidently say all in and push away three hours of hard work
he insta calls with the nut flush
im so bad at poker

im going to go to a neuro linguistic programming conference in a few weeks
then i can stop saying things like im bad at poker and do the hellmuthian bit where he stares into the mirror and says im an incredibly fortunate individual and the universe loves me or whatever he says in that utube clip

moving forward
no bluffing old me
no profiling
no more flask (the flask of whisley may have factored into my bluff)
be patienter
work on nero linguistic programming and become the tiger woods of parx 100 dollar tournaments

ti ducked into abbaye for brunch because the bartender's cute
i may have flirted
in all probability i will probably flirt again in the future
an intoxicating nature that made the whole bar sing along with her
someone may have started a tradition
she got everyone in a good mood with her neon orange woody's shirt
the one with the scatological name for roosters on it
she was of great humor explaining that shirt
she did so with differing levels of gusto
the crowd loved to see her dancing and singing along with journey, bryan adams, sammy haggar and the cars
we may even do a song together sometime
i was talking some mad shit
it may have been the brownie that the lovely hippy chick i shared coffee with let me try
her of the unlimited freckled loveliness
my braincells were just firing away this afternoon
so
if you like watching a hottie dance around some bloody marys
then this is your kind of party....

try the veal
tip your bartenders and waitresses

oh and what if the buddhists are right
reincarnation
they got hell right too
hell is your 2nd reincarnation if you are a badass, a bad karma asshole
heaven is your in also your next life if you are cool
you will be born to mariah carrey
adopted by amy wine house or brangelina

and racists come back as dogs
mike vicks dogs specifically
and all they can do is bark and lunge and go mad
oh, its 420 peace...